Went to see my counsellor today and all was well -
we concluded that I am too sensitive, soak up others emotions, retreat from bad situations and too much of a worrier. All which I knew.
I don’t know what I was hoping for - I guess I just wanted reassurance that soon I’m going to wake up and feel okay. And maybe be happy for more than an evening. It’s horrible knowing how happy I used to be in contrast with how unhappy I am now.
And this painful feeling in my chest when I think about Sam is not making matters easier, and really really just confusing me further about my current situation. Have I fallen out of love with him? Am I worried about our future? Is it just how I’m feeling that’s caused me to thinkthis? Or this that’s caused how I’m feeling?
I don’t know. And that’s frustrating. I’m really really hoping it’s how I’m feeling that’s made me feel like this - and when I overcome it things will go back to normal and happy with me and Sam becuase I don’t want to hurt and I fucking do not want to loose him.
It’s such an odd feeling, though. I’m seeing him tomorrow so I guess I’ll try work it out… See how I feel. I just can’t overthink it or I’ll convince myself I’m feeling things I’m not.